Sexual signals and behavior in children: Building hypotheses about the function of sexuality in childhood

Abstract

Increasingly children have been referred for assessment and treatment because they used sexual behavior including “sexually harmful behavior.” Such children are often treated as a source of danger to others rather than as neglected or abandoned children who used sexualized behavior to protect themselves. In this exploratory paper, we present a series of case examples, arranged developmentally from infancy to puberty. All had standardized assessments of attachment from which detailed descriptions of behavior were derived. In addition, we have information about the parents that we used to help explain their behavior. We also review briefly the scientific basis for understanding how smell and touch affect sexualized behavior involving children. We conclude that children’s sexualized behavior and sexualized behavior from parents to young children is usually not sexually motivated. Instead, the behavior appears to serve attachment functions for both children and parents when their needs for protection and comfort have not been met. We note that sexual bonds are formed very rapidly whereas attachment bonds are formed slowly. Under urgent and dangerous conditions, sexuality may make bonds more quickly than slower attachment processes could do, thus providing the advantages of attachment (protection and comfort) quickly. Of course, this short-cut comes at a developmental cost. We close with recommendations for research and for professional practice.